After leading him on a bit (he wanted to get remote access to powershell) I informed him I haven’t run a Windows computer of my own since 2006 and couldn’t imagine how I got a Windows virus. He was understandably crestfallen.
@dustin The German Chaos Computer Club got such a call last week. They let them dig through a honeypot install and pretended to be ready to pay. They put the credit card data into a file that transported a virus to the caller.